Talking Intruder Blues

by Kevin Boardman

  • Streaming + Download

    Includes high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more. Paying supporters also get unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app.

      name your price



I was at home the other day
and saw a thing I'd never thought
a masked man comin after me
eager to get off his shot

I was tripping all over the place
makin a mess of my humble home
but what else was I to do?
an intruder was trying to collect my bones

So i snuck around
and found my shotgun
and sure as shit
you know I loaded it up

The man was closing in on me
ready to blast my head wide open
I aimed my gun between his eyes
and under my breath
a prayer was spoken

Was gonna send that sucker to hell
but he kicked my piece right out my grip
he threw my shotgun down the hall
and all I could think was oh shit oh shit oh shit

So i snuck around
and found my shotgun
and sure as shit
you know I loaded it up

Third confrontation had me nervous
if I was gonna die now I've made no purpose on earth
but I was quite ready to accept my fate
plus anyways I've always wanted to take Satan on a date

But then I noticed something curious
saw a badge on his chest
and what looked like search permits
That masked man was a police officer
and I wasn't gonna let him be in charge of my home, no sir

so I snuck around
and loaded my shotgun
aimed it at his chest
and lit that fucker up


released April 5, 2017



all rights reserved


Kevin Boardman Townsend, Massachusetts

Folk artist from Massachusetts, Old Stolen Pizza songs featuring Gabby Le on old releases as well.

contact / help

Contact Kevin Boardman

Streaming and
Download help